Isle 3
by Saudade
Summary: *THIS IS THE END PEOPLE, IT'S PRETTY FUNNY!!!*Bulma is sick. The frige is empty. Vegeta can't even start the car........God help his pathetic soul. (rated PG13 for language!!)Please R+R!!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z or any of the characters!!!!!

  
  


Isle #3

  
  


"Please Vegeta, just do this one thing for me!" Said a feverish Bulma.

"Shopping is a woman's job, I, a sayjiin prince will not be made a fool of."Vegeta said as he was undergoing gravity training. Bulma had been sick with the flu fo a few days and the fridge was empty. She had thought that he would somehow find some kindness in his heart to do this one simple favour for her.......but she had to take drastic measures.......

"Vegeta if you don't go shopping for me this ONE TIME, you will not get any *whispers in his ear* from me tonight or any other night for the rest of your pathetic sayjiin life!!!!" Bulma backed up from him to glance upon the astonished face that was Vegeta.

"You wouldn't." Vegeta said with a threatened look on his face. Bulma just stood there leaning on one foot with her arms crossed.

"Damn you woman, where's the fucking list!?Vegeta's ki raised as he awaited his wife to respond.

"Right here, sweetie," Bulma said as she pulled the list out of her pocket and handed it to her infuriated husband. 

"You had it right in your pocket, what? Do you think I'm that weak, that I would give in that easily?! Bulma just stood there with an evil smirk on her face that read "I have you wrapped around my little finger"

"Do we eat all of this stuff?" Vegeta asked with a confused look on his face. "What's this?! YOU WANT ME TO BRING KAKARROT HOME!!!??????" Vegeta's ki raised even higher as he suddenly turned super sayjiin.

"Carrots, you stupid, stupid man, carrots." Bumla rolled her eyes watching the embarrassed man return to normal.

"How am I to know where everything is?" Vegeta glanced at this list, almost as if he had no clue how to read.

"Just look at the labels' honey, always look at the labels." Bulma said pretending he was a naive kindergarten. She then turned around, reached into her pocket and brought out a pair of keys.

"What are those?.........................NO WAY!!!!!!! There is no way I'm driving there, I'll fly!!!!!" Said Vegeta.

"You can't fly there, everyone will see you, do you want to risk that? He walked up to her, snatched the keys, and stormed out of the house. Can't be that hard? Right?

Vegeta stepped out side and glanced at the ugly pink car, rolled his eyes, and came forward. He opened the door when a strange perfume scent came out, he coughed and chocked and then realized that the scent was now on him.

"Blasted women and her damn perfume!" He sat into the car and stared. He had a key, but where would he put it? He looked ad looked but no luck. But then, what's this? He found a small little hole where the keys would fit in perfectly. Feeling all high and mighty, he put in the key. 

"HOLY SHI!!!!!" And without any warning the air bags came out in a loud wild crash. He struggled and struggled, and finally punched a whole right through the air bag.

" What the hell was that?!" Vegeta sad there in disbelief at the fact that for once something had actually scared the holy moly crap out of him. Then he glanced at another hole and decided to give it another try. He closed his eyes hard and raised his ki ready to attack if something else popped out. 

Meanwhile Bulma looked out the window, having it been ten minutes already and he still wasn't out of the driveway. 

"Alright you bastard, lets do this, just you and me." Vegeta slowly stuck the key in the whole, turned and......................."HAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!.................He had done it.....the car.........was started...........It's gonna be a long, long, long.....................................................long.............long day.

  
  


See ya in the next chapter!!! ^_^

  
  
  
  



	2. Losing Himself

Disclaimer: I don't own dbz, plain and simple...........well actually it's not!!!!! I wish I did!!!  
  
  
  


After a long hard battle with the one known as "vicious vehicle" Vegeta had finally started the damn car. 

"Alright, it is started.......it's time to kick some ass" said Vegeta with a proud look on his face. He had once seen Bulma pull something that made the car move" .....It must be this. Hmmm, D, must stand for destruct, so that's out of the question........Ah........R must stand for Run, to run the car.............I am brilliant." So he pulled the R lever.................*CRASHBASHBANG!!!!!!!!!!!! Without any warning.......he had once again......scared the crap out of himself and knocked over the trash can.

"Dammit!!! What the hell is wrong with this fuckin car!? I'll just pull anything!!!" So he pulled the D lever and stepped on the gas. He was finally moving forward.

It was a long hard road to the grocery store. He surprisingly remembered where it was because Bulma dragged him there years ago to visit the doctors office that was right beside the market. After an hour or so, he arrived at the market, list and all. He had no experience in parking cars so he took up nearly two spaces................and ran over a seagull.....but that's our little secret...........

He stepped out of the god-forsaken car and stared up at the grocery store. Remembering his sayjiin instincts, he followed his nose to where he wanted to be. The store was long and slender, and smelt of fruit and boxes. he glanced at the large shopping list...........secretly said a little prayer, and was off.

"Haha, if a sayjiin price can beat the crap out of anyone, he can surly get groceries!!" Vegeta smirked and started down isle number one.

Isle #1

The first things on the list were dairy products. How hard can it be? Well, considering the irony have in store for you.................yes, it will be very, VERY hard.

"Milk, yogurt, ice cream, and.......CHEESE?!" Vegeta, with an evil smile on his face was remembering the time Bulma had first served him cheese, and the large amount of gas it bestowed upon him....bwahahaha. So, he gathered all of the items and remembered what Bulma said to him before his car trauma, "Just look at the labels' honey, always look at the labels." Vegeta's face cringed, hating the fact that his wife was right sometimes. 

Isle #2

Before Vegeta could even turn to reach the next isle, all of the food items were falling out of his arms......apparently he is unaware of the use of carts, go figures. Then this little old woman walked up to him and gave him her cart. He wasn't sure of how to thank her, so he just nodded his head and continued. He dropped all of the food items into the carts as if he didn't really give a damn.

"Next on the list.......drink items.......apple juice, orange juice, strawberry juice, strawberry kiwi juice, grape juice, banana juice, cranberry juice, pineapple juice, blueberry juice, lemon juice, lime juice, tomato juice, prune juice (eww), mango juice, avocado juice, ....................Vegeta scrolled down the never ending list of juices when he finally realized that Bulma was doing this just to piss the poor man off. But what if they really did have all of this juice? Maybe he should just get all of it. So he pushed the cart down the isle getting all of the possible juices. For once in his life his arm was actually getting tired from doing the same thing over and over, and over again. So, he decided that he might have a little fun. He placed the cart in the middle of the isle, walked away, grabbed a jug of juice, and like a pro, through it right in. He continued this process, thinking about how easy this was. 

"Hahaha, a brilliant man I am." Said Vegeta, tossing the juices in the cart. When he finished, he looked around him, just to see if anyone was looking. The coast was clear. So he backed up from the cart right to the end of the isle, took a run for it (squealing a little in a manly way ^_^) got faster and faster, jumped on the edge of the cart and shot down the isle.

"This is better then flying!!!!!!"He went back and forth, grabbing food items and tossing them in the cart while he destroyed any manly instinct he had left. He finally reached the end of isle two, but before he could even try and stop the cart, he and the cart shot into a tower of tomato soup cans. The horror ended with a big, loud crash. Vegeta just got up as if nothing happened. By now everyone was looking to see what was going on. Vegeta silently pointed at a little boy who just happened to be standing there, and walked away letting out a low whistle. The process had to start again. So Vegeta made his way through the isle's again until he reached Isle 3, trying to keep a straight face. He looked at the list and came down to a word that made him blush. And in big, bold letters, it said. SANITARY NAPKINS. 

Vegeta stared in horror as he looked down the personal health isle.


	3. The Rhythm Is Gonna Get Ya!!

Disclaimer: Don't own DBZ...blahblah..............................blah. 

A/N- just to let everyone know, I have been spelling "isle" the wrong way ^_^ it's actually supposed to be "aisle" sorry, I'll just continue using the wrong spelling "isle" nuff said.  
  
  
A drop of sweat dropped from Vegeta's head as he started blankly at the list. He didn't know that it would come to this.

"How does this woman expect me to walk right down the isle and just pick up these disgusting items," said Vegeta thinking that he would never look at his wife the same way again. And to make it worst as he moved further down the list he found such things as amodium, preparation H, midol, and tampons (so what? She likes to expand her horizons!) But Vegeta knew it had to be done, if it was a choice between life in death (which he thought it might have to come to) then he would do it. Shaking, holding on to the cart handle bar, he walked down the isle. He grabbed the first brand of "absorbent" items he could see to avoid attention. He couldn't even bare looking at them, he was so disgusted And along with the Preparation H, amodium, and tampons, he was out of isle three. Little did he know it would cause him so much trouble later on.

Continuing into isle 4, he looked as if he just finished fighting a battle with Goku or something. He didn't know that something so simple, could cause him such metal pain. He had new respect for Bulma, she needed it too, considering how much of it was lost with all the sanitary napkins (pads) and tampons and such. Just the thought of it all made Vegeta cringe. To keep his mind off it, he just went down the isles and got all the things needed.

Just as he reached the end of isle 4, the radio came on. It started playing this music that had really caught his ear, oh yes...it was Brittany Spears.

OOPS! I did it again, 

I played with your heart,

got lost in the game,

ooh baby, baby......

"Haha, this is so juvenile, who listens to this old basket case these days?" But then Vegeta looked down, and found that his foot was tapping the floor up and down.

"Wa? What is this? Why is my foot moving like this?" Then before he knew it, his head was bobbing up and down, then his fingers were tapping. The rhythm had gotten to him. By now he was alone in the isle, dancing to Brittany Spears. 

" Opps, I did it again, I played with your heart, got lost in the game, ooh baby, baby," Vegeta sang on.

"Vegeta, I didn't know you had it in you." Said a cheery voice from behind him. He automatically paused. Afraid to turn around fearing that he knew who it was, for he recognized that voice anywhere. he turned around, to glance upon Goku and Gohan who were getting ready to piss their pants laughing. Both of them tried to imitate what he was doing, singing and dancing at the same time. They practically fell on the ground together laughing hysterically. 

"STOP IT!" Vegeta yelled and the both of them stopped. He was red with anger.

"Vegeta, what the heck are you doing here? Where's Bulma? This is the last place I'd expect to find you, especially dancing to Brittany Spears, heck, just seeing you dance at all gives me the willies!" Goku bursted out.

"Bulma is sick you damn fool, and she threatened me, so I had no choice." 

"What? No hooky for a week?" Asked Gohan. Vegeta gave him the evil death stare. Gohan waved his hands meaning no harm. 

"Well, what are you two clowns doing here?" Vegeta asked with a smirk on his face.

"Ha! You think you're the only one who gets pushed around by his wife? WRONG!! "Goku yelled. Apparently Chi Chi passed on the same threat to Goku, but told Gohan otherwise. Before Goku could continue, he glanced down at some of the items in Vegeta's shopping cart.

"Uh...Vegeta, why do you have all that stuff? Is it that time of the month Veggie? No wonder you're so moody." Goku laughed, but Gohan knew he went too far.

"If we weren't in public, I'd kick your ass right here and now!"

"Has it ever stopped you before?" Goku smirked. And just before Vegeta raised his fist, Gohan stopped them.

"Hey! The fact is, we are in public, so cut it out!" Gohan said. 

"Well, we need to get going anyway, later Vegeta!" Goku said. Vegeta was a little hurt that they didn't even offer to help him, but like he would accept. Yeah, he's way to proud.  
So, he continued on through the isles, picking up food and other items. He wasn't sure if this day could get only worse. What would his father say if he could see him right now? "Vegeta, my son, going shopping for his woman instead of the other way around? Dancing to Brittany Spears?!" Sweat drops fell from his forehead. This was indeed, the most embarrassing moment in his life. He took out a can of pickles from the cart and began to eat them.

"Alright, just one more isle to go, and this horror will be done and over with. UHHHH......." all of a sudden, Vegeta clenched his stomach in pain. "What is in these pickles?" He examined the jar and came across the expiry date. MAY 11th 2002. WHAT!? But its August 21st 2002!!!! I just ate 4 months old pickles!?"Vegeta, still clenching his stomach, tried to seek some sort of refuge where he could dispose of the content that was making him sick. But no luck, there were no bathrooms, that he could find, and couldn't hold it in anymore, so with a big loud gaging sound, he barfed all over the floor. His face was all green and he still felt sick so he threw up a little more, and that was the last of it.

He was left with a big, green, chucky mess, with no naive little boy to blame it on. Yes, he was officially screwed. Then, a man came up to him who seemed to be the manager walked up to him.

"Umm.... sir, maybe we should call your wife to come and get you." Vegeta stared at him. He went through all of this grief for nothing. But he still felt like he was going to barf again, so he agreed. All of the food items were gotten anyway.

It had been about 20 minuets until his wife came to pick him up. She got out of the car and helped him pack the car without a word. When they got to the last of the bags, she stopped.

"Vegeta!? How hard is it to just do some simple shopping!?

"Hey!! I got all the crap you wanted, even those disgusting womanly items of yours. 

"That's what I was talking about dear, these aren't sanitary napkins, there Depends.

THE END. ^_^  
  
  



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